Motherhood is an extraordinary journey – one filled with love, joy, challenges, and a good dose of late-night kitchen raids. But when cancer enters the picture, it’s like a plot twist that no one saw coming. Suddenly, there are new mountains to climb, tougher battles to fight, and a deeper appreciation for every sunrise. So, let’s talk about this journey and how to navigate the intersection of motherhood and cancer treatment.
The Challenges and their Navigation Maps
- The Balancing Act of Treatment and Parenting: Who knew superheroes wore patient gowns instead of capes? Between the fatigue and nausea that often accompany cancer treatments and making sure your little ones are fed, loved, and have their homework done, it’s a Herculean task. The magic word here is ‘Help’ – from friends, family, or hired assistance. A set routine also offers a security blanket for both mom and child. In my experience, you will be amazed how many friends and family members will step up to help during this significant time of need.
- The ‘C’ Talk with Children: They say honesty is the best policy, but how much truth is too much for young minds? Communicating a cancer diagnosis to children needs a careful blend of honesty and tact. Child psychologists or social workers can provide guidance in this situation, helping you navigate these tricky conversations.
- Emotional Rollercoasters and How to Ride Them: Managing emotional stress while maintaining a sense of normalcy for children can feel like juggling flaming torches. Here’s where therapy, support groups, and mindfulness techniques come in. Remember, it’s okay to have bad days. It’s okay to put down the torches and have a good cry. It’s better to express these emotions to your provider, counselors and significant others.
- Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: Treatments such as chemotherapy and radiation often bring physical changes that can affect a mother’s self-esteem. It’s like waking up in a strange new body. Support groups, therapists, and even makeup and style workshops for cancer patients can offer a helping hand. Just remember, your strength and courage make you the fairest of them all.
- Money Matters: Cancer treatments can put a strain on your wallet, especially if you’ve had to reduce work hours or stop working. A chat with a financial advisor or exploring insurance coverage options can be helpful. Some organizations offer financial assistance to cancer patients, so don’t hesitate to reach out to those organizations and your own institution patient’s assistance programs.
Gifts that Bring a Smile
Now that we’ve covered some of the challenges, let’s switch gears and discuss something a bit more cheerful – gifts! If you’re wondering how to brighten the day of a mother going through cancer treatment, here are some thoughtful and practical gift ideas:
- Comfortable Clothing: Because who doesn’t love to feel cozy? Look for materials that are gentle on sensitive skin. Certain drugs and radiotherapy can change the skin texture and feeling. Hair loss is a common issue with chemotherapy and while most may want a wig to feel normal, I find most women prefer a soft colorful head scarf which feels nicer to the scalp.
- Meal Delivery or Eat-Outs: Good nutrition delivered to the doorstep. Bon appétit! I’ve seen friends and family members take turns bringing patients to their treatments. Chemotherapy or immunotherapy treatments can be every 2 – 4 weeks. This gives a powerful opportunity for everyone to connect and spend time with their love ones via morning breakfast, a mid-day lunch to a late afternoon snack at their favorite restaurants or in their own homes.
- Directed blood donation: If a patient is undergoing surgery or treatments with a high probability of needing blood products, consider directed blood donations. This can be tricky with each institution and their respective blood bank but can be done. If the blood is not needed, then no worries, with the patient or physician’s permission, someone else needing blood will benefit with the donated product.
- Books, Audiobooks, Streaming: Because sometimes, escaping into a different world is the best medicine. Endless entertainment at the click of a button. Popcorn not included. Let’s face it, there will be significant amount off-time during their cancer journey battling the disease whether waiting for surgery or post-operative recovery, time prepping prior to infusional therapies, or simply the drive back and forth for daily radiation treatments over 4-5 weeks period. Family and friends can get together to schedule a calendar for the patients taking turns to bring their loved ones to their appointments.
- Journal, Pen Set, Social Media: For when words need to flow, or when doodling is the mood of the day. Or perhaps sharing the journey of other patients, currently, there are plenty of online support groups for each cancer diagnosis, there are folks posting on all the social media platforms. Younger folks can help their elderly folks who are not technically inclined. Many institutions offer virtual visits or direct online chart access to their labs, scans and even the physician’s medical notes. It is my experience that older folks tend to shy away from technology but when it’s embraced, they wondered why they didn’t learn to do it sooner.
- Cleaning Service: A clean house without lifting a finger? Yes, please! Nothing says I love you than having someone else do the work of cleaning the family home. You can hire or simply come over and do it yourself! Or even better, send your millennial kids over to do the work, that’s a two for special with teaching the kids hard work and helping others.
- Spa Services: Nothing more to say! Who doesn’t like a good massage therapy. Make sure this is approved by the treatment team.
Navigating the journey of motherhood while dealing with cancer can be an arduous task. It’s like being handed a map in a language you don’t understand. However, with the right strategies to tackle the challenges, and the right kind of support, it’s a language that can be learned. And for those standing by, remember that often, it’s the little things that count. A thoughtful gift, a home-cooked meal, or just a listening ear can make all the difference. After all, every sunrise is a new day, every challenge is a new lesson, and every mother going through this journey is an extraordinary superhero. Happy Mother’s Day!
About the author
Dr. Sajeve Thomas is a distinguished medical professional and a compassionate guide in the field of oncology. With over a decade of dedicated experience as a board-certified medical oncologist/internal medicine specialist, Dr. Thomas has become a trusted expert in the treatment of melanoma, sarcoma, and gastrointestinal conditions. Currently practicing at the renowned Orlando Health Cancer Institute, he brings a wealth of expertise to the complex and challenging world of oncology.