In oncology, where the stakes are often life and death, it’s easy to focus on clinical precision and measurable outcomes. Yet, the human side of medicine—the compassion, connection, and understanding we bring to patients and their families—can have just as profound an impact. Reading the deeply moving Art of Oncology piece published in the NEJM December 2024, “The Care That Saved Me” by Sarah McCarthy, Ph.D., reminded me of this truth and offered lessons I believe every oncology provider can carry forward. Please click on the link to read her article.
Dr. McCarthy’s story, rooted in her dual identity as a healthcare professional and the grieving mother of a young child lost to cancer, is a powerful reminder of what truly matters in our work. While I have not endured the unimaginable loss she has, her reflections resonated deeply with my own experience of losing my previously healthy father after months in the hospital following a traumatic brain injury. This shared sense of loss amplifies the lessons she shares—lessons not only for clinicians but for anyone who encounters patients and families navigating serious illness.
Lessons on Compassion in Oncology
Dr. McCarthy eloquently highlights four practices shaped by her experience—practices that serve as vital reminders for us to humanize our care and truly see our patients and their families as we interact with them each day.
1. Illuminate the Patient’s Personhood
Patients are more than their diagnoses. Dr. McCarthy reminds us that behind every clinical note is a human being with passions, quirks, and dreams. As clinicians, it’s easy to focus on medical data and lose sight of the person enduring the illness. Taking the time to include small personal details in our interactions and documentation—such as hobbies, likes, or even dislikes—can transform care. For me, reflecting on my father’s love for music and family during his illness reminded me to see him as more than just a patient. One of my patients with stage IV gastric cancer taught me this lesson in a deeply personal way. When he was first diagnosed, he was battling severe pain and dysphagia, yet his one wish was to visit the Grand Canyon. With treatment, his condition improved enough for him to fulfill that dream. To this day, I remember him for the strength he showed throughout his journey. The canyon rocks and a photograph of him gazing at the vast expanse now sit on my desk, a lasting reminder of the profound moments we, as care providers, can help make possible.
2. Understand Life Outside the Hospital
A patient’s life outside the clinic or hospital plays a key role in how they cope with and engage in treatment. Simple questions like “What brings you joy?” or “What would you be doing if you weren’t here today?” can help us connect and provide care that reflects their full humanity. I recall an 85-year-old patient with colon cancer whose main goal during chemotherapy was to keep bowling, a passion she had pursued for years as a professional bowler. Her treatments were planned to ensure this wasn’t compromised, and the last time I saw her, she was still happily bowling several years after her diagnosis in continued remission.
3. Cultivate Practical Compassion
Compassion isn’t just about empathy; it’s about action. Dr. McCarthy describes how small acts, such as ensuring a parent has eaten or slept, can have profound effects on their ability to cope. While these gestures may seem minor, they send a powerful message: we see you, and you matter. As oncologists, showing this level of care not only helps patients and families but fosters a deeper connection that enhances the therapeutic relationship.
4. Sit with Darkness While Allowing for Light
Perhaps the most challenging yet vital practice is learning to sit with a patient’s or family’s grief without trying to fix it. Bearing witness to their pain, acknowledging their emotions, and simply being present can be some of the most meaningful care we provide. This practice resonates deeply with me, as I recall moments of silent connection with my family during my father’s final days—moments that needed no words, just presence.
Reflections and Implications for Oncology Providers
Dr. McCarthy’s reflections, and what ultimately “saved” her, remind us that while advanced science and treatments are vital, they cannot substitute for the power of human connection. Her story encourages us to:
- Humanize our patients and their families by seeing them as individuals with rich lives beyond their illness.
- Cultivate compassion in action by addressing basic needs and offering meaningful support during their darkest hours.
- Be present in the face of grief, recognizing that bearing witness is often the most powerful gift we can give.
As healthcare providers, we often measure success in terms of outcomes and data. This story is a humbling reminder that the unmeasurable—kindness, connection, and compassion—is just as vital.
This article has inspired me to reflect on my own practice and recommit to the principles of compassionate care. For those of us in oncology, this is not just a lesson—it’s a calling. Let us remember that the care we provide doesn’t only treat the disease; it touches the lives of those we serve, leaving a legacy of kindness that lasts far beyond the clinical encounter.
About the author
Dr. Sajeve Thomas is a distinguished medical professional and a compassionate guide in the field of oncology. With over a decade of dedicated experience as a board-certified medical oncologist/internal medicine specialist, Dr. Thomas has become a trusted expert in the treatment of melanoma, sarcoma, and gastrointestinal conditions. He brings a wealth of expertise to the complex and challenging world of oncology.
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